a.c.

so.. i just came back from my first time in atlantic city. and i must say this is not going to be a nice blog.

we stayed at ballys. big mistake. apparently they shut down their computers @3am thus we could not check in for about 45mins. it was horrible. but i should have known it was horrible when i stepped out of the car to smell the aroma of piss, stale and new piss. so they dont know about this machine that cleans the fucking car garages. wreched smell. and on top of the concrete, they dont know how to shampoo their fucking carpets either. we got stucked with a shity room and then had to do a run around until we finally got a better room. and the rules there are just not cool.

overall. experience at atlantic was horrible. especially my stay at ballys. harrahs should just throw all their money into renovations throughout the hotel and or pay their staff more money to keep them happy, i'm tired of underpaid, overworked assholes bitching at me. its not my fault your job sucks. find a better job or do your job better and deal with it. why do people go into hospitality and not want to help people? fuck. u know when checking in @ las vegas at 4am, people are so willinging to help you its amazing. but in ac? fucking horrible.

so. dont go there.

summertime.

summertime should be like this.

perfect weather. 90 degrees without humidity. no clouds. hawaiian tropic sunblock. bikini. flipflops.beachside bike ride.large shades.large black sweeten iced tea. good book. sunbathe. dip in the ocean. lunch on the boardwalk. people watching on venice beach(ca). cali weed. good music. great dinner in los angeles. dancing the night away with friends. afterparty at the house. 3am dip in the pool watching the stars. secret kisses. laughs all around. good music. no stress. work seems easy.

i cant wait till i get back home to los angeles to see my friends and do all the wonderful things i love the most. enjoy the world that i live in for now since there is so much hurt/despair elsewhere. i feel people should try to think of what makes them happen and go with it. if you can change the world then you should do it, if you dont want to then dont. but i feel if people are happy, they will know how important it is to try to make the world a better place so that everyone can be happy too.

it could happen to me...

i've always been the type of person that always had the weirdest thing happen to me. it seems that sometimes the powers of the heavens come upon me with a vengence claiming their ultimate power over me and the world that i live in. so i must obey and for the most part they make everything better again.

even though i'm not where i'm suppose to be, i can feel the good natured good vibes that should come my way. although everything happens for a reason and i'm the type of person to believe that. so i do wish upon a star and always have faith that when things seem to get worse and they do, i know that in the end things will have a meaning and there will be balance once again. and with that i'm going to nyc.

shalom.

my thoughts on children

at first i wanted them. you know have that wonderful house with a huge kitchen and stay home to make sure my kids didnt grow up all fucked up and shit. but now the more i spend time with my little nephew the less i have a desire for children. i guess if i ever actually fall in love and marry the man of my dreams and he asks me to give him some children then i guess i'll have to do it. but until that fairy tale actually comes true. i guess my thoughts are children is that 1. not for me right now. 2. they are a pain in the butt 3. nice for some parts but stressfull all other times.

also. side note. the cartoon these days arent as great as they used to be. i mean what happen to the alvin and the chipmunk types? we have all these weird cartoons now that dont even teach children any type of lesson, perhaps even making them less smart. for example spongebob squarepants? wtf is wrong with that sponge? but one cartoon that i kind of like is foster imaginary home for imaginary friends. i like that concept of it. and the characters are cute sometimes. anyhow. i wish there was better cartoons out there for the youth and adults to enjoy together. and NO i am not letting my nephew watch family guy with me. or the simpsons.

home was sweet

well, i went home to los angeles for a week. it was filled with stress and sunshine. just how i like it.

here are the funny drops of my life.

tuesday. my hair stylist is trying to convince me to date asian men or at least give them a try. hmm. very funny. he was saying "its not the size that matters its the strength"and he's like.."come out to mood with me on thursday" i told him to drop the subject and cut my hair. lol i just thought it was funny, i know its not about size, but its about the whole attraction thing to start with, if i'm not attracted to you how on earth do you think i'll even get to the whole size sex part?

wed, well i was suppose to have lunch with shay but it took way to long to get a car, so we took a late lunch at the little next door, french bistro of my ultra favorite place the little door. it was fine, the food wasnt mind blowing but the wine collection was, and the french married wine guy was sure nice to look at. we then proceeded to go to santa monica promonade for gelato. afterwards we had coffee at urth cafe. then headed to dinner at JAR. and drinks at Winstons afterwards and called it a nite. very typical los angeles night.

thur. i have no clue what happen during the day... i think i saw hot fuzz and spat out icee during the movie since its fucking hilarious. and then dinner with my favorite producer. perameters. then movie back at his place. i just love hanging out with my favorite j ppl.

friday. hmm.. i dont remember what happen on this day. o wait i remember i had breakfast/lunch with breanne and then visit to my alma mater. i know ppl think i'm lame for visiting my old hs but when i'm bored its fun to go back and see how it is doing. then off to a birthday dinner at sushi roku in santa monica with my old roomies who i still talk to. layne and kelly are doing well. which is good to know. and veronica the one i dont wish well, well she's fucking up someone's marriage as we speak which is typical of her too. o well. at least i know theres an ackward friendship between the girls and i when veronica's name comes up.

sat./sun. i was in san diego. it sucked.

monday. all day with sunshine in the studio. then sushi ike. good times.
tuesday. pack to go back to pa with my lil nephew.

that was the trip home. fun filled with ppl and way too many phone calls.
i'm also going to write a book. developing characters as i type.

common signs of your fucked.

ok. first off. i'm not sober.

alright. i was doing my usual internet browsing which includes, and probably in this order, myspace, facebook, gmail (idk why since i have it sent to my phone), shay's blog, bbcnews.com, dailypuppy.com(recently added courtesy of jack.navy), weather.com (three cities check), and then onto the stalking stuff... websites of specific people to look for. [that i wont tell you since you'll know where i'm looking, and thats way to personal even for this]

Anyhow, i just mad the fucking connection. the artist is always on my mind. you may think i only think of the assholes or the goodlooking ones.. actually its always the one you actually could of love forever. anyhow the artist. from his fascination of urban life, the whole hiphop/art/skate culture, that night we drove around downtown la dropping him off at corners to take pictures that have locked in my computer back home. he is the one i think about everyday. why? cuz he's very much a part of me, the bear that sleeps with me, the painting that sits next to the picture he took. the way i live my life. all because of him. i would have been a completely different person if things would have been not as it is. so because of that i am the person i am and made the mistakes i did and met the guys i did.

so the link was him. all the guys who followed werent really anything, even if i stress over them.therefore i'm getting it. i'm being punished for fucking that one thing up. i could have been patient. i could have been more understanding. i oculd have been more loving. i could have been someone else. perhaps not as sexual as i am not as experienced in life as i am. i dont know.. i like the person i am now, although i would have been happy with the other version of me i would have been. too... o well.

ps. dont ever live anywhere that they have basements. why? because you may be experiencing some tornados! hahaa