its an on going cycle this world we live in. i'm starting to think that the shape we should all pay closer attention to is the circle. everything goes that way, the sun, the moon, the earth, dynastic cycles of china, golden rule, wedding rings, donuts... all circular.
when you get bored, you think of things to do and you go out, do it. and once that's done you get bored again. vicious cycle. women go out and sleep around and wonder why they don't have anyone to come home to, they're out looking for fun when they should be making their beds for the right man to crawl into with. i'm not saying that people should hold out doing what they're bodies desires, but rather not to complain or act dumb when things don't happen the way you may fantasize about it. i am starting to just slowly get annoyed with people who are living a circle of vices and try to blame it on someone or forces other then themselves. perhaps it might sound critical of me to say that, because i know i complain but i know i'm doing it just to get it out, i cant change some things that happen to me in my life, but i can put myself in the position to brace for bad times better than just going nuts when it does happen. i guess its about how you treat yourself. i cannot stress that enough. i've made many friendships with people who have been growing through hard times and i try to show them that they need to stop blaming god, people, men, work about their troubles but to accept that, that's life. and if they want change they must see it and go for it. but most of those friends i have made only left me when they decided i was just a bad bird singing off tune to their ears.
people don't want to hear the truth and here i am-telling it like it is. i'm not your friend because it does me any good, trust me, chances are, I'm your friend and you're not my friend. my friends live their own lives just as i live mine, we support each other during hard times and tell each other what we don't want to hear* the blunt truth. the truth is always the thing that keeps a relationship real of any kind. be it romantic, professional or just for friendship its is important to be real, lies only make the painting more grey. i've lost many friends when they decided my opinion no longer matters, when mine was the only one that forced them to look not through the rose color lenses but to go out and really see the colors of the world and realize that its not always wonderful. life is hard, it has many shitty times but if you can see that they are all for the better in the end-then its much easier to deal with crappy times. its hard to see people who i have developed relationships with throw away good times just because they are a in denial of the situation their life is in. i try to keep it real with myself. if i'm broke. i'm broke, i dont go out and i save. if i'm happy i'm out smiling. if im sad, i'm in my room sleeping. simple as that. you must tackle the hard things to get to the prize. how soon that happens is up to you.
i guess over the past years that i've been given so much crap from false friends and bad friendships i've learned that some things never change. those people who want to lie to themselves about their realities will continue doing that regardless if i am their friend or not. and i'm starting to see that it was good that i tried to help but perhaps in my spending time with them and trying to help them, i was able to learn more about my nature of a friend and person. some people never change, they keep the same ideals and just change faces of friends in their circle, but true change is rare after college. i'm not sure where the inspiration of this blog came from but i just know that its a sad when over the last 2 years one is not able to move forward but rather dig themselves into a deeper hole.. and lose friends at the same time.
i'm happy that my friends have been there for me over the past 2 years of my moving away for school. having people really care about me and my goals is something i used to not appreciate, but now especially during harder times, i realize that those people are amazing for keeping me in their hearts. i hope everyone gets a chance to realize the true value of the friendships and relationships that they have in their lives, regardless of the degree or length of time. a conversation of true sincerity is priceless especially times when morality and true character in people are diminishing.
shalom.
