need a hug.

its been quite a busy new year. from personal, family and friends ('s) problems. Ive been pretty good with this problem solving. at least with other people's issues. personally I've been very observant of the occurrences around me. and growing up and dealing with shit I've put off for some time now.

my love/romantic life have been shot to shit. not that there was one really but its just about official. dealing with insecurities of men isn't my cup of tea. i don't have time to deal with someone not being able to deal with the fact that i don't kiss and tell from my past. some men cant deal with the idea, that at one point, they are no longer the driving force in my thoughts. secondly, i keep putting myself into situations where i cannot do anything about it. i guess i like the idea of making someone want to want to be with me. but is that too much to ask? an evening with just us? i guess it is. spending time with someone is hard when you have to devote your time to other things, and with that i see the flame die. and its said to say it because everyone needs a little excitement in their lives, even if its just imaginary. or... what about the lack of chemistry. that's just another issue, it just sucks when you don't get those tingling sensations when the thought of the other person enters your mind. its a bland relationship. and that's the sign to keep it as a friendship. with that i shall close my doors for this spring season. perhaps summer back home will ignite the passion I'm craving.

i guess i just want someone on my team. we all need a team mate. someone to help us up when we're down, someone to give that needed hug, someone to hold and snuggle up close when its cold out, someone to have dinner with and talk about things not concerning work or stress, someone to laugh with. it's a simple relationship doesn't always need to be romantic. just a very close/comfy friend you kinda want to make out with too. ;)

shalom.